Microdosing mushrooms has changed my life. In 2007, I was diagnosed with complex PTSD. Since then, I have sought a variety of treatments, including trauma workshops, intensive cognitive therapy, and in-patient treatment. Although I worked hard to heal myself, nothing seemed to stop my mind from reliving the traumas of my past. I learned to live with the side effects, which ebbed and flowed like waves in the ocean. When therapy didn’t help, I white-knuckled through feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, and hopelessness. Since I don’t suffer from depression or anxiety, medication is not helpful or recommended. In therapy appointments, I was constantly having to relive my traumas, which only made me feel worse. I fantasized about a magic treatment that could erase the traumatic memories from my brain forever.

There have been periods of time when I would be doing really well until something would trigger me, bringing back negative thoughts and feelings. Over the past few years, I decided to be more open with friends and family about how I’m doing, which has helped significantly. People with complex PTSD have trust issues, so I keep my inner circle small and have surrounded myself with caring friends and my supportive family, who have helped me in more ways than I can express in writing.

A few years ago, one of my sons attended a medical conference at UCLA about psychedelics with a friend who was a medical resident. After the conference, he shared a lot of what he had learned about how psychologists and therapists have had success using certain psychedelic medications like mushrooms and LSD to help people who suffer from PTSD. It was interesting and intriguing, but I had never done drugs, and they generally frightened me. My father was a drug addict and bipolar. As a result, I never felt comfortable being out of control. I wasn’t sure if my father did drugs to quiet his mind or if the drugs triggered his bipolar disorder, but I wasn’t going to take any chances with my brain by doing mind-altering drugs.

Over the past year, there has been more information on how certain psychedelics can heal people who suffer from PTSD. Netflix recently released a series called HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, about the history and uses of psychedelics in treating certain mental disorders. A podcast I listen to called THE WORLD’S FIRST PODCAST, featuring Sara and Erin Foster, did an episode called Healing Through Psychedelics with Zev Eisenberg, a licensed mental health counselor, and James Gangemi, a certified life coach and trained psychedelic integrative specialist. The episode discussed how Jordan Foster has had success using microdosing and macrodosing to heal her childhood trauma. There seemed to be a lot of new information about this method of healing PTSD, and I was interested in learning if this treatment could help me, too.

With the help of a psychedelic-integrated specialist, I started microdosing psilocybin. This means that I take a very small dose of psilocybin, also known as magic mushrooms, every day for a period of time. The amount that equates to a microdose is smaller than half of a pea. I have never hallucinated, seen colors, felt unsteady, weird, out of control, or seen any images that I wasn’t planning on seeing while microdosing. I have to preface this by stating that I am not a therapist or an expert on microdosing and can only speak from my experiences with this treatment. Since I started microdosing, my mind has cleared from reliving my past traumatic experiences. I’m finally free from the chains of my past, and my brain has somehow reset itself in the best way possible. I am incredibly grateful to my family, who has encouraged and supported me to embark on this healing journey. If you suffer from PTSD and are interested in learning more about microdosing, I suggest seeking support from a medical team with expertise in this treatment method. You can also find helpful information on the microdosinginstititute.com website.

There is a lot of shame around mental health, and it’s terrifying to share such personal things about myself. But, if I can help just one person who suffers from PTSD by sharing my story, then it is worth it.