I went to a Korean spa for a body scrub with two friends who had been before. I was a little nervous when they picked me up at my house. I knew one of the girls well, and the other was a new friend. Would I be naked in front of them? Would we be scrubbed together? I had no clue what to expect other than hoping my skin would be sloughed clean.

We checked in at the front desk, where we confirmed our scrub appointments and were handed a locker key, a tip envelope, and a uniform that resembled something you might see in prison. My friend Norma led the way as the most seasoned scrubber in the group. The locker room was large, and finding our lockers took a while. Norma instructed me to remove all my clothes and put on the robe hanging in the locker. After removing my bra, I put on the robe, shimmied off my panties, and tossed them on the locker. The key and robe were my only accessories. Norma instructed me to take the tip envelope right before I closed my locker.

We entered the warm, steamy water room, where Norma and Tasha removed their robes and placed them on a shelf with their tip envelopes. Adjacent to the shelves was a series of showers with a sign that said, SHOWER BEFORE ENTERING THE POOLS. I quickly assessed my surroundings. There was a large dipping pool, a cold plunge, and a smaller hot pool with jets. That caught my eye because I figured I could hide in the swirling water. I demurely removed my robe and rinsed myself in the shower next to Norma and across from Tasha, averting my eyes from locking into anyone’s body parts. Other women were in the shower area, and many were in the various pools—young, old, fat, thin, and all seemed unselfconscious.

Once properly rinsed, Norma led us to the hot tub, where we all submerged ourselves. With each minute I was there, buck naked, vulnerable, and completely self-conscious, my nerves eased. After all, I wasn’t the only one naked. We were all naked. There was a half wall on one side of the room where I could hear a woman’s voice belting out names. Norma told me we should listen for our names when it was time for our scrubs. We moved from the hot tub to the main pool, dipped quickly into the cold plunge then back to the hot tub. There was a mother and daughter in the main pool chatting, a group of women gathered together bantering in Korean, and a few lone rangers appearing peaceful and comfortable in their nakedness. The longer we were in the pools, the more relaxed I felt.

I tried not to compare myself with the others. My body has served me well, but it’s not perfect. Life has taken a toll: childbearing, scars from surgeries, and years of playing sports. Too many sweets, cocktails, and decadent meals were all signs of a well-lived life. I learned that when we are all naked, we are all equal in our nakedness, which I found to be quite beautiful and freeing. Being nude with my friends brought me closer to them, a sort of bonding kinship. I admired every woman in the spa who proudly walked around naked, free, and open for all to see. Women can be so hard on themselves, brutally critical, and filled with self-loathing. But as time passed, I felt better and more comfortable in my skin because we were all beautiful. Everyone has flaws, and we all have redeeming qualities, too.

Our names were called in unison, and I followed Norma into the back behind the half wall. A woman introduced herself and instructed me to lie on a table. The entire room was lined with tables; each had a woman in her underwear rubbing the naked person lying on the table. Everything was wet and steamy, with a watered-down scent of jasmine and eucalyptus.

My scrubber was wearing white panties and a cotton bra. She covered my breasts and vagina with a small folded towel, then placed a scented mask over my eyes. I felt buckets of warm water thrown over me, and she began scrubbing. As she scrubbed my skin, I pictured every bad thing that had happened over the past year being cleaned off my body as though this scrub session would be a new beginning, a fresh start, a clean slate. There were pills of dead skin flaking off my body as she scrubbed, rinsed, and repeated. “Turn over,” she said with a thick accent. I smiled and obeyed. She scrubbed my skin raw, and it felt terrific, as though I was a newborn baby.

After the scrub, we put on our robes and took an elevator to another spa floor, which entered a large, co-ed, quiet room with grass mats where people rested with their eyes closed. There was a path of massaging rocks to walk on. I strolled over it multiple times, feeling my body relax more than it had in years. Around the quiet room were other smaller rooms. One had walls covered in Himalayan salt known for its healing powers. We lay down and closed our eyes. I pictured the salt powers radiating through me, healing me. Tasha struggled to be quiet for long, which I appreciated and related to. Norma cracked jokes about how long she would last in each quiet room, and I was relieved to be with someone with a monkey brain like me.

When we had maximized our quiet time, we went to the front desk to fill out our tip envelopes. I tipped generously, grateful to have been scrubbed clean and to have a fresh start.